Monthly Archives: November 2015

New Jersey Real Estate – Homes For Sale


IG Taps Valbridge To Bring Transparency to USPS' Real Estate Portfolio
GlobeSt.com
COLUMBIA, MD—Earlier this month, Valbridge Property Advisors announced that it had been awarded a national contract to provide appraisal and due diligence services for the Postal Service's real estate holdings of 32,150 facilities, which total more ...

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his real estate agent to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

Mon, 08 Jun 2015 16:29:42 +0000

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”

“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The real estate agent was aghast "I'm ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

submitted by Yule64 to Jokes
[link] [26 comments]

Podio Tutorial: Automated Workflows for Real Estate Wholesaling


Real Estate Transfers: Nov. 29, 2015
messenger-inquirer
73 Woodford Ave., estate of Virginia Bowles to Mark Tapp, $63,000. 3362 Thruston Dermont Road, Mukesh and Wendy Gupta to Darrell Wedding, $136,000. 1731 E. 26th St., Peter Conrad to Jeffrey Eades and Jessica Adams, $87,500. 2922 Greenhill Drive ...

I (24F) just received my Real Estate license. My BF (24M) is upset about who my first client (25M) is and refuses to "allow" me to be his agent.

Tue, 27 Oct 2015 19:18:07 +0000

I will try to make this short as possible so please bear with me! I am also on mobile so I expect this to be poorly written.

I have been with my BF for 3 years and everything has been fantastic until now. I have a friend, lets call him Adam (25), who I have known since before I even knew my BF (who we will call Andrew) Adam and I have a VERY platonic relationship. Never has Adam ever tried hitting on me, ever. Even when we use to party together a lot back in high school all the way until I turned 21 since I had fallen pregnant (With Andrew) and I haven't really seen him much since then since I am either always home or working and don't have much time to go out and party like I use to, but we have kept in touch almost every week since then.

Andrew NEVER had a problem with Adam before and even partied with us. Andrew just realized that Adam and I snapchat each other and have become "Best friends" on there and has a yellow heart next to his username. Andrew goes off and says I need to cut contact with him since "Adam is a dog" and "Only goes after girls who have boyfriends" and "Is out to sabotage my[our] relationship" The thing is, he has never tried anything with me and everything we ever really talk about is my son, work, and future goals. I like to surround myself with people who have dreams/goals and Adam happens to be one of those people. We also don't snap pictures of ourselves. Mostly things around us, but mainly we just chat instead of sending pictures. I even asked Andrew what his real deal with Adam is and he said "When we were in middle school, Adam thought I was someone else and accused me of doing something I didn't do. He later found out I was the wrong person, asked me to forgive him but I didn't like how he approached the whole situation." I'm sorry Reddit, but to me that was a stupid/immature excuse and I couldn't take it seriously. Andrew use to hang out with us and always had a great time and they got along tremendously when we would, I am NOT cutting contact with a good friend over some middle school drama.

Adam and I have recently been talking about how I was in school to get my Real estate license and how Adam was thinking about buying a house within the next few months. Well, I have completed Real estate classes and got my license! Adam happens to be my very FIRST client and I am totally excited!!!!! I went home and told Andrew and he was FURIOUS! He starts going off about how It's either Adam or him, and he refuses to let me work with him. All I hear deep down in his rants is "I am jealous, I want to control you"

Andrew brings up how we snap each other a lot, but then I brought up how I have other guys on there too, talking about nearly the same exact thing, yet he only freaks out about Adam. I understand to drop people your partner does not like, but I feel like it is totally UN-fair what he is doing. Adam has been a really great friend of mine and has never tried anything inappropriate with me and has respected Andrew tremendously to his face and has never said anything bad about mine and Andrew's relationship.

I don't want to have to drop every single client of mine just because they are "attractive" or single. I will seriously probably lose so much clientele that way, and word will probably get around that I "deny clients" and may seem snobby or stuck up. I need to make a name for myself and I kinda feel like Andrew is sabotaging that for me with his jealousy.

What the hell do I do Reddit?? Am I supposed to cut contact with Adam? Am I wrong for refusing to cut contact with someone my partner strongly dislikes (out of nowhere!)??????

tl;dr: BF jealous of longtime friend. Longtime friend wants me to help him find new house since I am a Realtor, BF refuses to let me work with him since we snapchat, now I am refusing to cut contact with friend. Bf is mad.

submitted by limitedselling to relationships
[link] [111 comments]

New Jersey Real Estate Vernon $ 279,900.


New York Times

Chinese Cash Floods US Real Estate Market
New York Times
This luxury development 35 miles northwest of Dallas is the latest frontier in a global buying phenomenon as Chinese money becomes a major force in real estate around the world. The flood of money is likely to persist despite the current tumult in China.

and more »

I am a 20 year old US Soldier with plans to begin a career in real estate after I leave the military.

Wed, 14 Oct 2015 10:27:22 +0000

So I am about a year away from the end of my service. I have served honorably up to this point, including currently being on my second deployment. I am an infantryman and unfortunately that includes not having an actual skill outside of the military. Before joining the military I had aspirations to have a career in real estate flipping houses. I put that aside, joined the military first and served like I planned. Now that I have achieved that goal and served our country honorably, my mind is back on track to my next goal.

So the question is where do I even begin? Where should I look for help? What should I read? Who should I talk to? What should I research? What should I not get caught up in? Where did you begin? Where should I network?

I have the Montgomery and Post 9/11 GI Bill available to me after I am out. The benefit is designed to help servicemembers and eligible veterans cover the costs associated with getting an education or training. So I could go to school and get educated in Real Estate.

I am looking to begin my career in my hometown of Bradenton, FL, with the little researched knowledge I have, I would like to say that it is a decent market to begin. I am willing to begin elsewhere but not too far that my children will grow up with little relations to their grandparents. I forgot to mention I have my first son on the way in a few months. That much more reason to be determined.

If anyone could help me out in any way, that being advice, tips, opinions etc. Thank you kindly. 🙂

Edit 1: I didn't mean to sound like my only intention is to flip houses. First and foremost I have zero experience in real estate, I have only what I have read and researched. I need a place to start and who better to ask than someone who has done that already. I would like to maybe someday be experienced enough, and then flip houses.

Edit 2: For anyone wondering, my mindset before was to not go to school but rather jump into an investment group with one of my best friends in Jacksonville, FL. Now I can see more than just my intentions, this thread has only helped shape the plan to my future and I will take as much as I can into account. I would like to thank everyone who had positive input, I have read every single comment and saved the ones I believed to be the most helpful to my development. To all the debbie downers, I appreciate your concern, but if I had any I would give up on the dream. Any further opinions would be helpful and appreciated. Thank you

submitted by armyranger319 to personalfinance
[link] [164 comments]

Investing in Real Estate


Deutsche Wohnen Agrees to Buy $1.17 Billion Real Estate Portfolio
Wall Street Journal
The back and forth between both companies started in September, when Deutsche Wohnen said it was going to buy Germany's third-largest residential real estate firm, LEG Immobilien AG LEG 0.13 % . That transaction was derailed when Vonovia announced ...
UPDATE 1-Deutsche Wohnen buys real estate portfolio for $1.2 blnReuters
Deutsche Wohnen buys real estate portfolio for $1.2 blnETRealty.com

all 11 news articles »

Real estate dreams dashed: priced out and resigned to renting

Mon, 10 Aug 2015 12:16:46 +0000

submitted by Machzy to PersonalFinanceCanada
[link] [118 comments]

Determining Net Present Value (NPV) – Real Estate Investment Tips


New York Times

Chinese Cash Floods US Real Estate Market
New York Times
This luxury development 35 miles northwest of Dallas is the latest frontier in a global buying phenomenon as Chinese money becomes a major force in real estate around the world. The flood of money is likely to persist despite the current tumult in China.

and more »

Gallup: Poor Americans think Gold is the best long term investment, other Americans think it's real estate

Tue, 22 Apr 2014 03:03:10 +0000

This gallup poll asks Americans "What is the best long term investment?"

That real-estate-as-top-pick view largely applies to upper-income Americans, living in households with incomes of $75,000 and over. Gallup found that 31% of those in the lower-income bracket — living on less than $30,000 — believe gold is the best investment option, followed by real estate, at 28%, and stocks, at 13%.

In between, those on incomes of $30,000 to $74,999 give gold, stocks and real estate equal billing at 26%

http://blogs.marketwatch.com/thetell/2014/04/21/poor-americans-pick-gold-over-stocks-as-the-best-investment/?link=sfmw_fb

submitted by Software_Engineer to investing
[link] [240 comments]

147 Ampere Ave, Oakhurst, NJ 07755-New Jersey Real Estate


Real estate transactions, Nov. 29, 2015
Quad-Cities Online
Engel, Jamie K., executor, Jones, Jon P., estate, Freeport, Ill., to HA DA, Davenport; 532 41st Ave., East Moline; $95,000. Stout, Charley, Moline, to Johnson, Durwin L., East Moline; 2201 5th St., East Moline; $145,800. Beeman, Timothy E. and Honchak, ...

and more »

Mum telling off an idiot real estate agent.

Wed, 23 Jul 2014 13:31:39 +0000

I'm helping my mum buy a house at the moment and most of the real estate agents have been pretty good, but today we dealt with a real idiot. First, a little set up.

There will be 4 people living in the house: my mum, my grandmother, my husband and me. I'm my grandmother's full time carer and my husband and I can't afford a place of our own with room for grandma, so we live with my mum. As a result, we're after a 3, preferably 4, bedroom place. Either my mum or I have explained our situation to every real estate agent we've contacted. Most agents actually listen to us, but this guy today was a real piece of work.

He was an older guy, probably mid 60s and a real "good ol boy". We made it pretty clear to him after he mentioned kids at the first house that they were not a factor in our house hunt, but he knew better, of course. He kept bingoing me all though looking at the first house and then at the 2nd house till I flat out told him "Just shut up about kids, ok? I'm here to look at houses, not talk about babies" to which I just got a condescending smirk before he turned his back on me to bingo my mum! The conversation went a little like this:

Agent: "Don't worry, you'll be a grandma in the next year or so. She's nearly at the age where popping out a rugrat will be all she thinks about."

Mum: "I think my daughter knows her thoughts on kids better than you do."

Agent: "Trust me, I know women and you all want babies eventually."

That really pissed my mum off. She looked him dead in the eye and said "You know, if you actually listened to your clients instead of being a condescending dick, you'd probably have made enough commission to have retired by now." and we walked out.

submitted by Aetra to childfree
[link] [99 comments]

Average $50k Per Deal | Commercial Real Estate Investing | Vacant Commercial Real Estate | Flip Man


Realty Today

Canada Real Estate News: Lower Mainland Commercial Real Estate Booms in the ...
Realty Today
Sales of commercial properties such as apartments in the Lower Mainland have been booming in the quarter starting July and ending September. According to industry reports, commercial real estate sector has seen a five-year sales high of 550 ...

I think I sent a Real Estate Agent and Home Buyer to their death

Sun, 28 Jun 2015 22:02:39 +0000

Ok, so here's some back story before we get into the disturbing stuff. I work for a call center that handles real estate agents. I'm pretty much a glorified assistant to agents. But to about 300 different agents a day. I schedule appointments to show homes for them, and I call home owners, tenants, and listing agents to get approval to show their homes. It's a pretty monotanous job, but it pays well enough, and I get to sit down instead of be on my feet for 8 hours. Sometimes though, the monotony is broken by some pretty odd or interesting home owners. Old folks that have had their home forever and can't use a cell phone or computer. Or disgruntled people who are about to foreclose with the bank and just want to swear and have you identify with them. They're all usually pretty funny, at least in retrospect. What I'm about to tell you about now is not one of those instances.

My day started out fine enough. Aside from an intensely humid walk to work, I was feeling pretty good. As hot as it was, it looked bright and colorful everywhere, and I was in a pretty good mood. Sat down, stuffed a meal bar down my throat, and started making calls. About an hour into my work day, I came across an appoinment for a listing here in Texas. It was for a house on a farm road, and the price was pretty high for that market. It'd been withdrawn from the market for years and it had only just come back up for sale about two days ago. And like a lot of agents, one real estate agent saw the price and picture (both were very nice), and probably without even going out there, scheduled a showing for one his buyers.

This property had a listing agent with no contact info. That already struck me as odd. Sometimes, an agent sneaks in without contact info by setting up online, but it's pretty rare. It's extremely rare for an agent like that to list a home. It should actually be impossible due to our company policy, but it happens. Usually only on listings that have been in our system since the beginning, much like this one. It made me hesitate, but when you have to make about 400 calls a day, you don't hesitate for long on anything. I checked the contacts list and there was one choice. It didn't have a name. Just said "Home". This is not as rare. Whether it's bad work ethic on our behalf, or a home owner who wants to remain annonymous, a lot of tenants and sellers don't list their names. I didn't think too much of it, and went to make the call.

I phoned the "Home" number for the house and it rang and rang. After about ten rings, I was ready to hang up and mark it as a "Did not Answer", but then I got the machine. It was the generic automated voice that answered. I hate those more than nearly any annoying seller. They take forever and they're so loud and robotic. Just a pet peev I guess.

"Hello. No one is available right now to take your call. Please leave message for ...", the automated voice drolled out the long phone number, as I motioned my hand in a hurried manner. Like I could somehow speed it up through my impatience.

Once the beep sounded, I began my usual shpeel, "Hi, this is Wayne with (my company), I'm calling about your home on (the address). I have an agent named (showing agent) who would like to show your home to a buyer today at--".

I was cut off. The phone clicked and I could instantly hear what I can only describe as old-timey, 30's music echoing through the home. It was accompied by a low slapping or thumping sound. Like someone was dancing very slowly and loudly by themselves. The sounds were soon accompanied by a heavy and anxious breathing right up against the phone on the other end.

"Hello, is this the homeowner for (address)?", I asked, already getting the creeps.

There was a chuckle and snort through the heavy breathing, then just more music, slapping, and heaving. I could tell it was a man's voice. Sounded like a big man.

"Hello, sir?", I asked again.

"Yeah.", A raspy voice said. Then nothing else aside from that disgusting breath gurgling up and down.

"Yes sir, I have a (agent) that would like to show your home between 12 and 1 today, would that be possible?", I asked, running through the words.

"They got buyers with 'em?", the voice asked.

Well no shit, I thought, but didn't say. "Yes sir."

"How many?", he almost interrupted me.

"I'm not sure, sir. At least one.", I answered. It caught me a bit off guard, I'd never had a seller ask me that before.

He grumbled for a minute, and I could swear I heard someone scream bloody murder from somewhere in the apparently large house. I wanted to pretend it was part of the song, but there had been no vocals up to that point. And the scream wasn't exactly melodic. The slapping stopped and I started to suspect that it had never been slapping to begin with, but maybe chopping. I shuddered and then he spoke.

"Well, alright. Send 'em over. We'll entertain some new guests.", He laughed heartily and I could hear the phlegm in his throat. He hung up before I had a chance to say anything else.

I felt slimy, somehow. But, he gave me approval, and I was glad to be done with the call. I approved the appointment and went to the next call. A few calls went by and I had completely forgotten about the whole thing. I just absorbed myself in my mind numbing work, powering through my day.

It wasn't until about 3 hours later that I got a call from a home owner. They had been called earlier for a showing and the agent never showed up. I pulled up their information, and as soon as I saw the agent's name, I got a chill up my spine. It was the same agent that had shown the house with the music and the screaming. I pulled his profile up on my screen. I wasn't even paying attention to the complaints of the home owner on the line. I saw that this appointment was the next on his schedule, and it had been past the showing time for an hour. He never showed after going to that house on the farm road.

I rushed the angry home owner off the phone with whatever bullshit customer service response my brain manufactured. I don't even remember what I said. I tried calling the agent, but he didn't answer. It went straight to voicemail. With real estate agents, that's pretty common, but this time it was unnerving. I called his office, under the guise of getting approval for an open house on one of his listings. Usually a sure fire way to skip through the lies of "he's not in the office right now" or "he's currently with a client". But his assistant seemed sincere when she told me he hadn't returned to the office today, and that he wasn't currently answering his cell phone. She even seemed a little worried, as though this wasn't normal for him.

I tried to reassure myself that it was fine. It's quite regular for agents to just not answer their phones for days at a time. I pushed the weird and dark thoughts from my mind and went about my day. But like a fly that won't stop buzzing around your face, the thought just wouldn't leave my mind. The sound of the screaming, the odd old music, and the heaving, grunting man who seemed all too happy for visitors. What the hell did I send those people into?

Part 2

submitted by WayneTheDeuceman to nosleep
[link] [132 comments]

Real Estate, ‘Atlas’ | NPR MUSIC FRONT ROW


Realty Today

Startup rebrands to ride real estate wave
The Seattle Times
Local entrepreneurs are hatching a slew of new online startups aimed at real estate and development, seeking niches that aren't already occupied by bigger Web operations like Zillow and Redfin. Also: Every Washington county but one saw per capita ...
Online Real Estate Boosts Growth for Small StartupsRealty Today

all 3 news articles »

I think I sent a Real Estate Agent and Home Buyer to their death

Sun, 28 Jun 2015 22:02:39 +0000

Ok, so here's some back story before we get into the disturbing stuff. I work for a call center that handles real estate agents. I'm pretty much a glorified assistant to agents. But to about 300 different agents a day. I schedule appointments to show homes for them, and I call home owners, tenants, and listing agents to get approval to show their homes. It's a pretty monotanous job, but it pays well enough, and I get to sit down instead of be on my feet for 8 hours. Sometimes though, the monotony is broken by some pretty odd or interesting home owners. Old folks that have had their home forever and can't use a cell phone or computer. Or disgruntled people who are about to foreclose with the bank and just want to swear and have you identify with them. They're all usually pretty funny, at least in retrospect. What I'm about to tell you about now is not one of those instances.

My day started out fine enough. Aside from an intensely humid walk to work, I was feeling pretty good. As hot as it was, it looked bright and colorful everywhere, and I was in a pretty good mood. Sat down, stuffed a meal bar down my throat, and started making calls. About an hour into my work day, I came across an appoinment for a listing here in Texas. It was for a house on a farm road, and the price was pretty high for that market. It'd been withdrawn from the market for years and it had only just come back up for sale about two days ago. And like a lot of agents, one real estate agent saw the price and picture (both were very nice), and probably without even going out there, scheduled a showing for one his buyers.

This property had a listing agent with no contact info. That already struck me as odd. Sometimes, an agent sneaks in without contact info by setting up online, but it's pretty rare. It's extremely rare for an agent like that to list a home. It should actually be impossible due to our company policy, but it happens. Usually only on listings that have been in our system since the beginning, much like this one. It made me hesitate, but when you have to make about 400 calls a day, you don't hesitate for long on anything. I checked the contacts list and there was one choice. It didn't have a name. Just said "Home". This is not as rare. Whether it's bad work ethic on our behalf, or a home owner who wants to remain annonymous, a lot of tenants and sellers don't list their names. I didn't think too much of it, and went to make the call.

I phoned the "Home" number for the house and it rang and rang. After about ten rings, I was ready to hang up and mark it as a "Did not Answer", but then I got the machine. It was the generic automated voice that answered. I hate those more than nearly any annoying seller. They take forever and they're so loud and robotic. Just a pet peev I guess.

"Hello. No one is available right now to take your call. Please leave message for ...", the automated voice drolled out the long phone number, as I motioned my hand in a hurried manner. Like I could somehow speed it up through my impatience.

Once the beep sounded, I began my usual shpeel, "Hi, this is Wayne with (my company), I'm calling about your home on (the address). I have an agent named (showing agent) who would like to show your home to a buyer today at--".

I was cut off. The phone clicked and I could instantly hear what I can only describe as old-timey, 30's music echoing through the home. It was accompied by a low slapping or thumping sound. Like someone was dancing very slowly and loudly by themselves. The sounds were soon accompanied by a heavy and anxious breathing right up against the phone on the other end.

"Hello, is this the homeowner for (address)?", I asked, already getting the creeps.

There was a chuckle and snort through the heavy breathing, then just more music, slapping, and heaving. I could tell it was a man's voice. Sounded like a big man.

"Hello, sir?", I asked again.

"Yeah.", A raspy voice said. Then nothing else aside from that disgusting breath gurgling up and down.

"Yes sir, I have a (agent) that would like to show your home between 12 and 1 today, would that be possible?", I asked, running through the words.

"They got buyers with 'em?", the voice asked.

Well no shit, I thought, but didn't say. "Yes sir."

"How many?", he almost interrupted me.

"I'm not sure, sir. At least one.", I answered. It caught me a bit off guard, I'd never had a seller ask me that before.

He grumbled for a minute, and I could swear I heard someone scream bloody murder from somewhere in the apparently large house. I wanted to pretend it was part of the song, but there had been no vocals up to that point. And the scream wasn't exactly melodic. The slapping stopped and I started to suspect that it had never been slapping to begin with, but maybe chopping. I shuddered and then he spoke.

"Well, alright. Send 'em over. We'll entertain some new guests.", He laughed heartily and I could hear the phlegm in his throat. He hung up before I had a chance to say anything else.

I felt slimy, somehow. But, he gave me approval, and I was glad to be done with the call. I approved the appointment and went to the next call. A few calls went by and I had completely forgotten about the whole thing. I just absorbed myself in my mind numbing work, powering through my day.

It wasn't until about 3 hours later that I got a call from a home owner. They had been called earlier for a showing and the agent never showed up. I pulled up their information, and as soon as I saw the agent's name, I got a chill up my spine. It was the same agent that had shown the house with the music and the screaming. I pulled his profile up on my screen. I wasn't even paying attention to the complaints of the home owner on the line. I saw that this appointment was the next on his schedule, and it had been past the showing time for an hour. He never showed after going to that house on the farm road.

I rushed the angry home owner off the phone with whatever bullshit customer service response my brain manufactured. I don't even remember what I said. I tried calling the agent, but he didn't answer. It went straight to voicemail. With real estate agents, that's pretty common, but this time it was unnerving. I called his office, under the guise of getting approval for an open house on one of his listings. Usually a sure fire way to skip through the lies of "he's not in the office right now" or "he's currently with a client". But his assistant seemed sincere when she told me he hadn't returned to the office today, and that he wasn't currently answering his cell phone. She even seemed a little worried, as though this wasn't normal for him.

I tried to reassure myself that it was fine. It's quite regular for agents to just not answer their phones for days at a time. I pushed the weird and dark thoughts from my mind and went about my day. But like a fly that won't stop buzzing around your face, the thought just wouldn't leave my mind. The sound of the screaming, the odd old music, and the heaving, grunting man who seemed all too happy for visitors. What the hell did I send those people into?

Part 2

submitted by WayneTheDeuceman to nosleep
[link] [132 comments]

FREE Google Voice Number for Real Estate Investing


The San Diego Union-Tribune

Multihousing leading real estate recovery
The San Diego Union-Tribune
San Diego County's housing market has returned to healthy if not boom times, according to two reports issued Wednesday. Dodge Data & Analytics said October construction starts totaled $338.4 million in October, more than double year-ago levels.

and more »

First time home buyer here. Why are my mortgage broker and real estate agent discouraging me from making offers on bank owned properties?

Sun, 01 Jun 2014 14:06:10 +0000

Hi Guys,

First time home buyer here so I might have some questions that seem pretty obvious. So I am looking at buying a condo. I'm 25. I currently live with my parents rent free. I am seeing alot of great bank owned properties on the market and I would love to make an offer. Downside is, I don't have the full amounts in cash most of the properties are asking for. So I will be putting a 20% down.

My mortgage broker and real estate agent strongly discourage me from going after bank owned properties. They say it takes too long to hear from the bank. This annoys me because, I currently live at home so its not like I URGENTLY need to find a place. I have the time to wait it out.

Are they just being lazy because its the same amount of paper work for less commission? Does anyone have experience buying bank owned properties without the full amount in cash? How long did it take to hear back?

Thank you for guiding a newbie!

edit: Thanks for the advice guys. I just wanted to add that I'm thinking of buying a condo, and not a house. NOt sure if this makes a difference in anything. I also live in NJ.

edit 2: Wow! I just checked back on the comments and never expected to get this much. Thank you so much for taking time out to respond to me. I'm sorry If i don't get a chance to directly thank you. Please know your advice is greatly appreciated.

submitted by anonchick123 to personalfinance
[link] [200 comments]

Real estate for sale in Dumont New Jersey – MLS# 1500110


Dreaming of $4 million real estate in Long Beach
Long Beach Press Telegram
The Treasure Island pad is a “real trophy house,” said Realtor Keith Muirhead, who has worked in Naples for 32 years. Located on the canal at 5668 Naples Canal, Muirhead said. “It's a nice little pocket on Treasure Island, which is the most prestigious ...

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his real estate agent to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

Mon, 08 Jun 2015 16:29:42 +0000

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”

“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The real estate agent was aghast "I'm ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

submitted by Yule64 to Jokes
[link] [26 comments]